STRONG WOMEN

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“I am a strong woman. I don’t sit around feeling sorry for myself, nor let people mistreat me. I don’t respond to people who dictate to me or try to bring me down. If I fall I will rise up even stronger because I am survivor and not a victim. I am in control of my life and there is nothing I can’t achieve.”

“Being strong is not rewarded. Women are expected to be vulnerable. Being strong means that you’re inevitably bitter or jaded about something, and that’s just not attractive.”

Here is what being a strong woman means to me: It means standing up for myself. It means that I am a fully-functioning human, one who is independent and able to do things for herself. It means that I have opinions and beliefs that I stand for, and that I do not settle for less.

It doesn’t mean that I don’t ask for help. I do (often). Asking for help doesn’t mean I’m weak, it means I’m able to acknowledge that I’m not a super woman, and that I’m going to need other people sometimes.

Being strong doesn’t mean that I close myself off from others and act like I’m better than them. (Actually, I’m always striving to be better, live better, love better, which is about me rather than anyone else.) It doesn’t mean that I force my beliefs down other people’s throats, or judge them for how they think. It doesn’t mean that I’m ‘inevitably bitter or jaded’. In fact, a strong woman is a woman who loves herself and her world and is therefore positive, loving, and self-assured.

“We need women who are so strong they can be gentle, so educated they can be humble, so fierce they can be compassionate, so passionate they can be rational, and so disciplined they can be free.”

“A strong woman is one who feels deeply and loves fiercely. Her tears flow as abundantly as her laughter. A strong woman is both soft and powerful, she is both practical and spiritual. A strong woman in her essence is a gift to the world.”

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You Don’t need a Man to Complete YOU.

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Yes,you I am talking to you girl,you don’t need a Man to be Happy.

Let’s clear something up right now before we go any further: you don’t need a man to be happy. Before you say anything, I’m not against relationships or men – I just think you can be happy on your own, too. After all, shouldn’t you be able to be happy without having a man by your side 24/7?

Some people would rather be in a bad relationship than be single because they don’t think their life’s complete without a man in it. Wanting a guy is fine, but needing one means you need to work on your own happiness first.

Girl do you just want to get married,be a housewife,have children’s,fooling around in laws,being slave to them and what not…STOP right there you are not just here to be a slave dam it. Live your Life Be Happy,Laugh,Have Fun and What not you can do on your own with your life Real Men will come to you with LOVE so just wait for it don’t just go for it because you don’t have any.

Reasons why you don’t need a man.

1. Be proud of you
You don’t need a man to tell you how proud he is of your success because truthfully it intimidates him. It scares him knowing you’re sparkling more than him.

2. To tell you you’re beautiful
Girls have a thing with believing they are only beautiful because a boy says so. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL because YOU believe so. Strong women know they stand tall, and shine brighter with confidence because they certainly know so.

3. Pay your expenses
You don’t need a man to support you, when you’re 110% capable of supporting yourself.

“I was raised to hustle like a man because I was told to never depend on one” my papa said me this.

4. Be your happiness
Never let a man be a reason for your happiness. You’re happy because YOU strive to be the BEST YOU, you can be. You’re happy because you wake up every morning ready to conquer the day. You’re happy because you’re not dependent on a man.

5. To love you
Correction* You don’t need a WEAK man to love you. A weak man would never know how to love a strong woman properly. He would never know what to do with her. A STRONG man would match her love.

6. Put you down
Boys try and find weakness in strong woman because of their own personal insecurities. They will go out of their way to bring strong woman down to make themselves feel superior. Little do they know..

“You can break down a woman temporarily but a Real. Strong. Woman will always pick up the pieces, rebuild herself and come back stronger than ever” .

7. To make you feel worthy
You, Yourself, the person you build yourself to be everyday are worthy of so much. You ARE worth something. You’re worth more than ANY man could ever make you feel. Know your worth and never settle for less.

8. To think you’re the problem
Weak men will find any reason to blame the woman, instead of owning up to it like a strong man.

“A strong woman will automatically stops trying if she feels unwanted. She won’t fix it or beg, she’ll just walk away.

9. Not embrace your strong personality
“A weak man will never know what to do with a woman with a strong personality. She’ll speak her mind and he’ll blame her attitude for pushing him away, knowing damn well he was just too afraid of what she represents”.

10. Make you feel like it isn’t okay to stand alone
If a man tries to convince you that you need him. You don’t need him. A weak man. will try and make you believe that you’re inferior to him. Throw your heals on, show him who stands tall on her own!

11. To make you feel like you’re in competition
Truth is men will do what they want and how they want to do it. If you’re constantly afraid to leave him on his own without you then it is time to replace him. You are too strong to ever be in competition with any other girl. If your love isn’t enough to discipline him then he isn’t worthy enough for your time. You find a man strong enough to know better, to know not to put you competition with a girl when he marvels at the fact of how strong you are.

12. Make you feel like you’re not worth the fight
Boys will always believe they can find better and within those next few days they will find someone to distract him from those feelings of losing the Strong Woman he once had. Strong men would never put himself in that position because he knows what stands in front of him. If for a reason it does happen a strong man will fight. Because he knows what he has.

“Admit it boy you blew it, you really messed it up. You can make excuses if you really want to lose her. It’s all on the line, do or die time. Getting on your knees time” (Casey James)
“Nothing is weaker or smaller than the man who hurts women or children. Whether by his actions or by his words”

“No woman can love a weak man hard enough to make him strong”

All my life I’ve been told to be strong, independent woman. Everyday I strive just to be that. Being so blessed to have all these amazing women around me, I couldn’t help but know my worth. That you don’t need a man. You need yourself, your strong, hardworking self. A real strong man will come along and empower your strength not try to break it down because it scares him. Always remember that ladies.

Also, ladies remember

“Weak men revenge. Strong men forgive. Intelligent men ignore.” 
Stand tall and marvel. . Encourage the weak. Give everyone a reason to fight everyday. Be the woman that every girl strives to be.

The Strong,Wise,Independent Girl that I Am Today Is All Because of My Father,Love you Papa.

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It was my school annual function and I was performing onstage for the very first time for the fancy dress competition,papa dressed me into a junglee girl with all the leaves around me painted green and white and out of surprise i won the prize,my dad was happy cheering.I remember when i was in class 2nd i stood first in the class,dad was so happy that he got sweets and juices for all staff members and my friends,he gifted me my first bicycle which he got from other town,traveled only to get it.

It was then wen i was in 3rd ,met with an horrible accident which almost took away my life,papa was in Delhi for training mom was alone in a newly shifted town,she with the help of others admitted to the hospital and got me operated,when my dad was back he saw me lying on bed, fainted there and then,it was that moment when i was precious to him my mom said.

I scored a 10/10 on a silly English test at school. When I came back home and told him about it, he said ​it call​ed ​for a celebration. It wasn’t a big deal but yet told mom to cook something special and made me believe like I was the smartest kid.He got me everything before i could ask for,may be it a phone,bike,laptop,anything I would ask him anything no matter how expensive it is he got it to me.

I never let him down i always stood first in class and i was topper this always made him proud and happiest i always want to see him happy that’s the reason i used to study well. right from the start till 10th grade dad tied my shoe laces and filled water bottle for me this is something i can never forget,he made sure every Saturday our white dresses are properly ironed and neatly pleated.when i think of this its just that he lived his life just for us me,my sis and mom.

Yet now i am going through so many ups and downs in my life and my dad is still standing and guarding, it has become his life motto to keep me happy.I cant except anything more than this in my life.

My life with papa calls for celebration every now and then no matter what he stands by me like a pillar and never let me down i can literally say i am born to the king i being the princesses.we fight with each other not less like a world war but yet come together after time and laugh.we cry ,laugh,dance,celebrate love between us has no words to describe.

 

Happiness the other way round.

ok.Dealing with depression and all thoughts in your mind is kinda roller coaster ride.Girls experience it a lot then men,Girls find solace in shopping,fashion,beauty,dressing up,eating(hell lot) and other things go on,But the roots of depression stay,they trigger when they want to and make you feel worthless no matter how beautiful,educated,disciplined you are,I don’t know why other people matter so much in our life’s,there talks,sugar coated words,rudeness,harassing, matter so much and affect us so much.LIKE REALLY ?? What are we made up of,and why got to deal with such nonsense people,IS IT REALLY NECESSARY?

Cruel or cutting remarks from strangers can be hurtful, but 99 percent of the time, we are hurt by someone we know, and these injuries are deeper and more painful, because a person who should be the source of love suddenly betrays that love — intentionally or otherwise. It’s hard to admit, but wherever a relationship exists, the possibility of someone getting wounded exists. The most common reason we get hurt by another person is: Our ideas of hurt don’t match. Because we all learned as small children to accept our family life as normal, we forget that every other family has their own “normal,” and the differences between those normals can be significant. For instance, one family sees shouting as “friendly advice,” which is easily accepted or ignored; in another, yelling can be a sign of open hostility.

The one distinguishing factor is the creation — and observation — of boundaries. When it comes to being hurt, situations where everyone’s boundaries are respected are completely different from situations where those boundaries are not respected. Signs of respecting boundaries:

You feel secure in who you are and make others feel secure.

You expect to be respected for your opinions, even if the other person disagrees with them.

You understand that each person has emotionally sensitive areas that need to be handled delicately.

You don’t point out other people’s faults.

You don’t automatically find fault or argue just to get a rise out of someone.

You listen, even if you don’t agree with the other person.

You find it easy to empathize with someone else.

Your default position is to accept rather than to reject.

You are happy when the other person succeeds.

If you can tick off all these characteristics, you grew up in a very healthy home psychologically, or if you didn’t, you’ve learned how to undertake personal change very successfully. However, if you find yourself struggling to achieve these things — or to get them from the other people in your life — your upbringing probably included some of the following negatives.

Signs of not respecting boundaries:

You hide your vulnerable spots for fear that the other person will either attack you, or in some way take advantage, if you expose weakness. At bottom, you feel that being hurt is the same as being weak. You expect to be rejected if you stand up for your opinions and beliefs.

You point out other people’s faults to gain the upper hand, or to distract attention from your faults.

You habitually find fault or argue, for no good reason.

You listen to others only to seek more evidence to strengthen your argument.

Blaming and judging other people are ways to reinforce that you’re right most of the time — or is it all the time?

You feel insecure in who you are and easily become defensive. You feel the need to justify yourself quite a bit.

Your default position is to reject rather than to accept.

You are jealous when the other person succeeds.

The value of these two lists is in understanding that respecting boundaries is the best way to protect yourself from being hurt. In soap operas, the heroine may suddenly realize, “He doesn’t love me anymore.” But in real life, the hurts come in small doses, with occasional larger, dramatic flare-ups.

The problem isn’t that one person is angry, sadistic or a control freak. The problem is that you and the other person have different stances about respecting boundaries, and you’ve never settled the differences between you. Because it takes two to tango, you are often playing a part in your own wounding. This has to stop, and the most important step to take is to go through the two lists and take responsibility for your part. If someone hurts you by disrespecting your boundaries then ask yourself two questions: 1) “Do I do the same thing?”; and 2) “Why do I give permission for the hurt that’s aimed at me?”

You’ll never change your parents — or your sibling or grandparents — but you may change your relationships with them. In every close relationship, be it with a family member, friend or co-worker, there is room for negotiating boundaries (except in cases where the relationship is abusive or violent). Simply saying (for the hundredth time) “I don’t appreciate being criticized” or “You’re never happy for me when I succeed” doesn’t work, because you and the other person are imprinted with very different habits of respecting boundaries.

Know your WORTH..

              You deserve someone who is looking at the big picture in life, and that picture has you in it. IMG_E9312

“Our self-respect tracks our choices. Every time we act in harmony with our authentic self and our heart, we earn our respect. It is that simple. Every choice matters.”
– Dan Coppersmith

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“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”
– Stacey Charter

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“To love is nothing. To be loved is something. But to love and be loved, that’s everything.”

— T. Tolis

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“That’s how you know you love someone, I guess, when you can’t experience anything without wishing the other person were there to see it, too.”

– Kaui Hart Hemmings, The Descendents

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”You don’t deserve to be half-loved. You deserve to be loved wholeheartedly. You deserve someone who is willing to fight for you, someone who doesn’t use lame excuses for their lack of attention or someone who is always too busy to make time for you”.
— Rania Naim,

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“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love.”

– Robert Fulghum

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You deserve someone who is looking at the big picture in life, and that picture has you in it.
— Kyle Freelander

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Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want.
— Heath Ledger,

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There are going to be people who cannot contain all of the love you are capable of giving them within their chests. They will fumble with the enormity of your affection; they will try to cleave at the heart of you, collapse you until you fit into the shapes and the sizes of their needs. They will tell you that you are too much — too intense, too soft, and you must walk away. You must remind yourself that when you do not fit into the contours of their arms, it is not because you are too big, too free, too liberated, it is because they simply were never meant to hold you at all.
— Bianca Sparacino,

Christmas Camping..

 

OK,here goes the Camping,we all had a Long  weekend so ended up doing something different apart from attending some party and boozing all over clubs and lounges.

Another thing I like to do is sit back and take in nature. To look at the birds, listen to their singing, go hiking, camping and jogging and running, walking along the beach, playing games and sometimes being alone with the great outdoors. 

Decided to camp nearby Pune,because we stay in PUNE,lol…so we decided to go to waterfront Camping which is around Mulshi (towards tahmini ghat,anderban forest) approx 70kms from pune.

Planned to start our trip by 12pm,but you know as in friends group you never start on time, it is mandatory to get late due to some buddies,gathered to start point around 2.30 bought some drinks,starters(chakna),finally the trip started.

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The road towards mulshi is calm,its all green and have many beautiful resorts such as  malharmachi.com ,Cafe Paradise.in,Jalshrushti and such.First stop was at vadapav center it was amazing and spicy loved it,I actually forgot its name but its before Abhiruchi hotel on the way,its a small one.Road is not so good but ok can go few kms (MCKS Ashram road is not so good) .

we were happy seeing the destination it was amazing with scenic beauty,in mid of forest ,wide spread hills,mountains,river(mula),greenery everywhere,Tents were comfortably put up, it was nice and clean,we were given Tea and Onion Pakoda as snacks in the evening around 6.30,Pakoda was extremely good enjoyed it with cool breeze,we spent time exploring the waterfront property,clicked many pictures,had fun in the time.

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Around 9 Barbeque was setup,and all the fun started,we had a friend(sandy)who played Guitar and sunny the Singer,we had extreme fun singing,dancing,making fun,food was amazing,the best part the other groups also joined and the joy doubled.Later after time around 1am we had Dinner and the in our tents.

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Morning was very refreshing with the nature”s beauty.Had tea and sat calm for hrs enjoying,talking had breakfast and had a small trek in andarban forest towards mula river it was heaven.

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we packed our bags and left to pune around 1. that was a amazing Christmas weekend.

“I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery. Air, mountains, tree, people. I thought: this is what it is to be happy.”

 

COMMUNICATION is the KEY.

You had a long day at work. Your body is stiff from eight long hours of sitting at your desk. You’re mentally drained from dealing with co-workers, customers and your boss all day. At the moment, nothing would be better than going home and being greeted with a nice big hug and a soft kiss to take your mind off the day, but instead when you get home your lover barely looks your way. Their eyes are glued to the television or they are on their smartphone doing God knows what. They didn’t even see what you wore to work nor could they tell you if you changed your hairstyle. When you look at your lover, there isn’t a sparkle in their eye, but you can sure feel that cold chill coming from their heart. There’s no conversation and no affection. The chemistry was right when you first met, but now the two of you are distant strangers.

So what do you do? How do you cope with feeling alone? Well, its definitely not easy, however there are ways to also gain a better understanding of how your relationship got to this point.

Communication is always key. Try to find out from your significant other if there is something troubling them. There can be something going on in their life that’s causing the disconnected feelings. If nothing is troubling them, try expressing that you’ve been feeling some distance between the two of you. Sometimes you have to let go of your ego and ask if there’s something you can do better in the relationship. Even if you feel like you’re the “perfect” partner, there may be something you’ve totally overlooked. If you’ve done your part–and there are no complaints there–you can move on. Once you feel you have done your best you can feel free to move on without regrets.

This may seem odd because you are the one craving the attention, but go ahead and break the monotony of the relationship. Yes, do something different. Make yourself more desirable to your loved one by doing something they wouldn’t expect. Sometimes people get comfortable and bored in a relationship and its easy to get distracted by life, stress, even social media, so bring the focus back to you! Try a romantic dinner at home or wear something sexy. If your partner is pulling back or still being standoffish, this gives you a chance find out if you have a deeper problem in your relationship.

If it seems like there are troubled waters in your relationship, start doing things for yourself. You have to remember that your happiness is all that matters. Anything that is damaging to your mental well-being must be removed from your life. It doesn’t matter if its people or substances. You must always do what is best for you.

 

PHONEs Ruin RELATIONS.

We have an intimate relationship with our phones. We sleep with them, eat with them and carry them in our pockets.
And we love them for good reason: They tell the weather, the time of day,stocks,shares,news, and the steps we’ve taken. They find us dates, entertain us with music and connect us to friends and family. They answer our questions and quell feelings of loneliness and anxiety.And we also relax by playing games,candycrush,chainbreaker….etc

But phone love can go too far — so far that it can interfere with human love — old fashioned face-to-face intimacy with that living and breathing being you call your partner, spouse, lover or significant other.

“A key to healthy relationship is being in Present”.

When one partner constantly checks his or her phone it sends an implicit message that they find the phone (or what’s on it) more interesting than you.

In our quest to be connected through technology, we’re tuning out our loved ones and interrupting a kind of biological broadband connection.

What is it about phones?

The answer? When your partner attends to a phone instead of to you, it feels like rejection—it hurts. Feeling ignored when your partner is on their phone can feel as bad as being shunned.

When a conversation, meal, or romantic moment is disrupted because of a text, email, or any other task, the message is, “What I’m doing on my phone is more important than you right now,” or, “I’m more interested in my phone than in you,” or, in some cases, “you’re not worthy of my attention.”

It is because the other person is likely to experience such moments as rejections that can literally impact their psychological health. Rejections, even small ones, tend to be extremely painful, as your brain responds the same way it does to physical pain. Even mini-rejections, such as a partner turning to the phone in the middle of a conversation, can elicit the common reactions ,Rejections cause—hurt feelings, a drop in mood and self-esteem, and a surge of anger and resentment. Over time, these small wounds can faster and increase conflict, lower relationship satisfaction, and lead to a drop in life satisfaction and an increase in symptoms of depression.

PEOPLE LEFT TO YOU,LOVE THE LOVED ONE OR LOVE YOUR PHONE…!

Yes I am a Girl And i am Proud to be One.

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Yes i am a girl
And i am proud to be one;
I am supposed to early rise
I am expected to stay quite at times;
Society expectations are up from me
That’s why my parents never leave me free;
My mother says please speak slowly
You have to go your home leaving us lonely;
My dad says you cannot attend parties
You rather should concentrate on your studies;
Yes i have dreams and i chase them
But my family is my life and to them i am a gem;
My only aim is my parents head held high because of me
They should never bear any pain because of me;
I wish the society norms are changed
So that i never have to go away from home ;
How will i manage staying far from home
This is like illusion of soap without foam;
I will miss my near and dear ones
And memories will be measured in tons;
Who will wipe my tears when i cry
Who will make me smile ;
No brother no sister whom will i share my stupidity with
In laws saying “you can go home anytime” will be a forever myth;
I wish i can be an angel who can fly
So that i can come back home when I feel like a slay;
I am not a flawless beauty
Neither am i am girl from metro city;
I have broken promises, i have broken heart,
But my parents feel i am a pole star who will never loose its shine;
Yes i am a girl
And i am proud to be one..

Feeding The EGO.

Feeding this ego-a full time job
Compliments and hails- it eats up
“So handsome, so rich, so wise”
But still- it wants some more
“The best, the greatest”
Unsatisfied
This ego
Wants some
MORE!

 

Would you stand in front of someone while they were delivering a whole heap of unhealthy, insane, abusive, damaging and disgusting versions of you and your life and listen to it?

Understand if you stand there and argue with an abusive individual, you get damaged. If you do this, you have serious problems with setting boundaries.

Know that your ego is every bit as abusive as another damaging individual.

If you have a ‘fight with yourself’ you’re trying to justify yourself to your ego and convince it you aren’t this person, you don’t have these fears, you don’t have doubts and you really are capable. Your ego loves this because it will trick you into thinking that you can win the argument, that you can convince it and resolve the issue, and that you’ll receive peace after having this struggle with yourself.

This is so untrue!

Your ego will keep coming back at you again and again, and just like any abusive person who simply won’t get it, wants to project fears and doubts, and not find peace within. The argument will continue to resurface and never be healed.

Think about this – how exhausting is it trying to argue and justify yourself with a person who is continually abusing you? If you don’t disconnect and get away from them, you eventually give in and start agreeing with their version of you just to get some peace.

Inevitably if you keep hooking into your ego you’ll end up doing the same thing. Eventually you’ll be so worn down that you’ll accept and agree with the inner dialogue of ‘I’m worthless and a failure’.

Ego – the Ultimate Self-destruction

Our ego is the part of our personality that loves manufacturing ‘less than’ experiences. Our ego feeds on fear, doubt and pain. The more we attach ourselves to our ego thoughts, the further we move away from our soul truth.

Be very clear – your ego is not the real you!

It is the polar opposite of who you really are, but it is not your True Self.

Our ‘dark side’ is ego. Our ‘light side’ is True Self. We can only manifest love, happiness and success when we are operating from our True Self. We will always manifest recurring pain from our false self.

 

You Deserve More Than SILENCE

Silence may not have a voice but it says so much. In most cases, silence is usually the beginning of the end. It means that something has changed or something doesn’t feel right but from what I’ve learned when silence comes between two people who used to talk regularly, there’s really not much you can do to change that scenario.

Silence means this person no longer wants to talk to you as much they used to. They don’t have the itch to share with you their stories or ask you about yours. They don’t feel excited to talk to you anymore so they back off, they distance themselves, they choose to say nothing instead of telling you how they’re really feeling.

Silence means this person would rather talk to other people. Someone else is filling that void. The conversations are better with someone else.

They would rather invest that time and energy in someone else because the connection is not the same with you. The connection has lost its essence or its passion and silence became the easy way out. It became comfortable.

Silence means that this person is going through a lot and they decided to be alone. They decided they want to suffer alone or heal alone or refrain from their daily routine. It means that this person chose loneliness over anyone else.

Silence can mean so many different things but at the end of the day, it means that the communication is not going to be the same. Words will be replaced by silence. Passion will be replaced with indifference and things will start going downhill because if a person decides to give you the silent treatment, they rarely take it back.

And it’s not your job to figure out what’s going on or break the silence or try to bring the communication back. It’s not your job to keep analyzing what went wrong, what you could have done better or what you should have said.

And it’s your fault. If a person chooses silence that means they think that you deserve silence. And you deserve more than silence. You deserve an explanation. You deserve words. You deserve people in your life who don’t find it so easy to just stop talking to you overnight.

Silence is usually the beginning of the end, but the good news is, silence can also tell you so much about that person. It can tell you how important you are to them. It can tell you how they really are when things get rough and sometimes it’s better to just leave people be without trying to understand why they are the way they are.

The irony is, the best response to people who suddenly walk out of your life is also silence. Save your words for the ones who appreciate them.

What doesn’t kill you….

Either makes you stronger or makes you wish it did.

Letting go or holding on. Two of our most defining reactions. And they couldn’t be more different.

Holding on to pain(or the memory of it), holding on to regret, to bitterness…

We consume an awful lot of energy thinking about the past -as if we didn’t know that it can’t be changed. We hold on tight to that which can never be changed. It is all a matter of choice. Strength, courage, dignity, all of them are choices. In fact, we choose who we are every single day. Even our most simple of decisions end up shaping who we are.

But, ultimately, the truth is that you are who you decide to be. You are what you think, what you feel, what you say, what you do.

And, yes, it does seem at times that we have no choice, no real power.

That life just happens to us.

 

It’s not true. We do have a choice, even when it seems we don’t. There’s always a choice.

So… What doesn’t kill you won’t make you anything until you decide.

You choose if it makes you stronger, weaker, or leaves you afraid for the rest of your life.

When bad things seem to happen for no particular reason, you are the one who decides what is what and has the ability to construct meaning from the experience.

Some people either win or lose. Others win or learn.

Your choice.

Depression-NOT Your FAULT!

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It’s not the candle’s fault when the wick runs out.
It’s not the candle’s fault it was made to burn so long.

“When you’re surrounded by all these people, it can be lonelier than when you’re by yourself. You can be in a huge crowd, but if you don’t feel like you can trust anyone or talk to anybody, you feel like you’re really alone.” Fiona Apple

It is not your fault, it never was, never will be. It’s not your fault your bed feels cold all the time, it’s not your fault you’re not sad, you’ve become sadness. It’s not your fault it was too much for too long and too little of anything to make it better, it is not your fault. It is not you fault you can’t “hold your sh*t together” in a public gathering, it is not you fault you no more want to step out. Stop apologizing for this break in the spine, this crack shall fill, and it is okay to take your time.

“He: What’s the matter with you?

Me: Nothing.

Nothing was slowly clotting my arteries. Nothing slowly numbing my soul. Caught by nothing, saying nothing, nothingness becomes me. When I am nothing they will say surprised in the way that they are forever surprised, “but there was nothing the matter with her.” – Jeanette Winterson, Gut Symmetries

Take your time to understand why and how you got here, and how you deserve all the time in the world, you need to heal. It’s okay to expect people to pull you up now and then, stop being sorry for this weak spot. Weaknesses are nothing to be ashamed of. You’re human, sweetheart. You’re going through something horrible, something painful, something no less than a broken leg, more, a broken soul. You’re allowed, give yourself that.

It has taken so long to understand this pain of yours, and still hundreds don’t, tomorrow too, hundreds won’t. Stop feeling like you’re doing wrong, like you’re spreading the wrong vibe. You have every right to do anything that helps you heal. Never be sorry. Don’t be sorry. You’re a full blown warrior as cliched as it may sound. Do whatever it takes to win your fight.

“Depression is like a bruise that never goes away. A bruise in your mind. You just got to be careful not to touch it where it hurts. It’s always there, though.” – Jeffrey Eugenides, The Marriage Plot

And never apologize for it.

Why People Feel LOST!

 

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“If you feel lost, disappointed, hesitant, or weak, return to yourself, to who you are, here and now and when you get there, you will discover yourself, like a lotus flower in full bloom, even in a muddy pond, beautiful and strong.” ~ Masaru Emoto

Why is it that so many people feel lost in life, not knowing who they are, where they are going, and whether there is any purpose or meaning in their lives? Have you ever asked yourself any of these questions? I have. And that’s why I decided to write this blog post, in the hope that it will bring some clarity to people’s lives and help them find their way back – back to themselves, back to their hearts and back to their life’s path.

They have lost the connection with their own heart and Soul.
One of the many reasons why people feel lost in life is because they have disconnected from their own hearts and Souls. They pay too much attention to their rational minds, and to what everyone else has to say, and now they can no longer hear the voices of their hearts, nor can they connect to the wisdom of their Souls.

 They live their lives based on what other people believe to be right.

“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.” ~ Buddha

 They value the opinions of others more than their own.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” ~ Steve Jobs

They are ruled by fear.

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” ~ John Lennon

 They have a distorted sense of self.

People who feel lost in life tend to have a distorted sense of self. They no longer see their beauty, their light and their perfection, and they can no longer accept this truth – that who they are is enough! Their vision of reality seems to be darkened and distorted. And all they seem to “see” is how little, unworthy and insignificant they are, and how nothing they do is good enough.

They surround themselves with people who drag them down.
Spending too much time with the wrong crowd is another reason why so many people feel lost in life. When you surround yourself with people who drag you down, people who are constantly whining, blaming, criticizing, gossiping and complaining about everything and everyone, poisoning your mind, your heart and your life with their fears, doubts and negativity, you will eventually get derailed from your life path, and that will cause you to feel lost.

 They believe every toxic thought that runs through their minds.
Eckhart Tolle said it so beautifully: “The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive. To put it more accurately, it is not so much that you use your mind wrongly—you usually don’t use it at all. It uses you. All the things that truly matter — beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace — arise from beyond the mind…” When you believe every toxic thought that runs through your mind, and when you insist on building your sense of self and your entire life based on those thoughts, you can’t help but feel lost.

They are stuck in the past.
They are very attached to their past and everything that happened in it. And they just can’t seem to find a way to free themselves from it, not do they want to.

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

They try to control everything.
They can’t seem to understand that life has a natural flow that is always working with them, and so, they choose to push against it by trying to control everything and everyone. As a result, they get imbalanced, they disconnect from their own heart and soul, and they start to feel more and more lost with every day that passes.

We all get lost from time to time, and even though you might not always like it, you have to understand that it’s all part of this adventure called life. It’s all part of your journey. If you immerse yourself fully into every experience and every interaction life sends your way, no matter if good or bad, you will have so much to gain. And when the time comes for you to return “Home”, you will never return empty handed, but with many valuable lessons, great insights and a lot of wisdom. So always remember, “It is good to feel lost… because it proves you have a navigational sense of where ‘Home’ is. You know that a place that feels like being found exists. And maybe your current location isn’t that place but, Hallelujah, that unsettled, uneasy feeling of lost-ness just brought you closer to it.”

MARRIAGE – NOT A CAGE!

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               What’s the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable. 

I Feel whatever it is,should be written,So am I ,I think that of those who stay together, half are hanging on because of children, money, or fear of loneliness. Some are truly and consistently happy, out of a fortunate combination of circumstance, rather than any particular brand of love or tactic. Most of the remaining marriages, I think, are not about happiness or unhappiness, but accommodation and negotiation. And I say that as half of a married couple in which both of us have probably made one another both happy and unhappy, probably in roughly equal measure. We are very different people, but then all people are very different people.

My Husband and I both have a very strong sense of individuality, and I like that, but it means we have our fair share of fireworks. Anyone who does not have a lot of disagreements in a marriage is probably repressing a lot of stuff, which is liable to explode sooner or later.

To me, there are three keys to marriage-

The first is communication, good communication requires practice, goodwill, determination and a considerable amount of inborn talent.

The second is respect, which in many ways is more important than love. Love comes and goes, but respect endures, and provides the space for love to flow, which is bound to come in all long marriages sooner or later.

The third is trust. And this is the hardest of all, because if you have ever been let down – and we all have – reconstructing the trust is difficult. This isn’t about infidelity, but many small matters – broken promises, bad intentions, frustrated hopes.

A marriage is a moving process, a living thing, and if it stops being fed with these existential nutrients, it will finally expire. Complacency and laziness is what kills marriage, far more than lack of love, and that is why it is often described as hard work. 

I am a daughter to my parents,I have been married for a year,me and my husband hold a trust of understanding each other no matter what. Careers and Goals are very important in life,Achievement in life stands at first place with all the love and care.He is not a money making machine nor I am baby producing machine,we look after the needs and priorities of each other and love life.Its not a Cage for me to live as they say marriage is,It a marriage where you get support and love to go further and achieve success.

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it be rather a moving sea between the shores of your souls.”