Depression-NOT Your FAULT!

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It’s not the candle’s fault when the wick runs out.
It’s not the candle’s fault it was made to burn so long.

“When you’re surrounded by all these people, it can be lonelier than when you’re by yourself. You can be in a huge crowd, but if you don’t feel like you can trust anyone or talk to anybody, you feel like you’re really alone.” Fiona Apple

It is not your fault, it never was, never will be. It’s not your fault your bed feels cold all the time, it’s not your fault you’re not sad, you’ve become sadness. It’s not your fault it was too much for too long and too little of anything to make it better, it is not your fault. It is not you fault you can’t “hold your sh*t together” in a public gathering, it is not you fault you no more want to step out. Stop apologizing for this break in the spine, this crack shall fill, and it is okay to take your time.

“He: What’s the matter with you?

Me: Nothing.

Nothing was slowly clotting my arteries. Nothing slowly numbing my soul. Caught by nothing, saying nothing, nothingness becomes me. When I am nothing they will say surprised in the way that they are forever surprised, “but there was nothing the matter with her.” – Jeanette Winterson, Gut Symmetries

Take your time to understand why and how you got here, and how you deserve all the time in the world, you need to heal. It’s okay to expect people to pull you up now and then, stop being sorry for this weak spot. Weaknesses are nothing to be ashamed of. You’re human, sweetheart. You’re going through something horrible, something painful, something no less than a broken leg, more, a broken soul. You’re allowed, give yourself that.

It has taken so long to understand this pain of yours, and still hundreds don’t, tomorrow too, hundreds won’t. Stop feeling like you’re doing wrong, like you’re spreading the wrong vibe. You have every right to do anything that helps you heal. Never be sorry. Don’t be sorry. You’re a full blown warrior as cliched as it may sound. Do whatever it takes to win your fight.

“Depression is like a bruise that never goes away. A bruise in your mind. You just got to be careful not to touch it where it hurts. It’s always there, though.” – Jeffrey Eugenides, The Marriage Plot

And never apologize for it.

Why People Feel LOST!

 

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“If you feel lost, disappointed, hesitant, or weak, return to yourself, to who you are, here and now and when you get there, you will discover yourself, like a lotus flower in full bloom, even in a muddy pond, beautiful and strong.” ~ Masaru Emoto

Why is it that so many people feel lost in life, not knowing who they are, where they are going, and whether there is any purpose or meaning in their lives? Have you ever asked yourself any of these questions? I have. And that’s why I decided to write this blog post, in the hope that it will bring some clarity to people’s lives and help them find their way back – back to themselves, back to their hearts and back to their life’s path.

They have lost the connection with their own heart and Soul.
One of the many reasons why people feel lost in life is because they have disconnected from their own hearts and Souls. They pay too much attention to their rational minds, and to what everyone else has to say, and now they can no longer hear the voices of their hearts, nor can they connect to the wisdom of their Souls.

 They live their lives based on what other people believe to be right.

“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.” ~ Buddha

 They value the opinions of others more than their own.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” ~ Steve Jobs

They are ruled by fear.

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” ~ John Lennon

 They have a distorted sense of self.

People who feel lost in life tend to have a distorted sense of self. They no longer see their beauty, their light and their perfection, and they can no longer accept this truth – that who they are is enough! Their vision of reality seems to be darkened and distorted. And all they seem to “see” is how little, unworthy and insignificant they are, and how nothing they do is good enough.

They surround themselves with people who drag them down.
Spending too much time with the wrong crowd is another reason why so many people feel lost in life. When you surround yourself with people who drag you down, people who are constantly whining, blaming, criticizing, gossiping and complaining about everything and everyone, poisoning your mind, your heart and your life with their fears, doubts and negativity, you will eventually get derailed from your life path, and that will cause you to feel lost.

 They believe every toxic thought that runs through their minds.
Eckhart Tolle said it so beautifully: “The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive. To put it more accurately, it is not so much that you use your mind wrongly—you usually don’t use it at all. It uses you. All the things that truly matter — beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace — arise from beyond the mind…” When you believe every toxic thought that runs through your mind, and when you insist on building your sense of self and your entire life based on those thoughts, you can’t help but feel lost.

They are stuck in the past.
They are very attached to their past and everything that happened in it. And they just can’t seem to find a way to free themselves from it, not do they want to.

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

They try to control everything.
They can’t seem to understand that life has a natural flow that is always working with them, and so, they choose to push against it by trying to control everything and everyone. As a result, they get imbalanced, they disconnect from their own heart and soul, and they start to feel more and more lost with every day that passes.

We all get lost from time to time, and even though you might not always like it, you have to understand that it’s all part of this adventure called life. It’s all part of your journey. If you immerse yourself fully into every experience and every interaction life sends your way, no matter if good or bad, you will have so much to gain. And when the time comes for you to return “Home”, you will never return empty handed, but with many valuable lessons, great insights and a lot of wisdom. So always remember, “It is good to feel lost… because it proves you have a navigational sense of where ‘Home’ is. You know that a place that feels like being found exists. And maybe your current location isn’t that place but, Hallelujah, that unsettled, uneasy feeling of lost-ness just brought you closer to it.”

MARRIAGE – NOT A CAGE!

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               What’s the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable. 

I Feel whatever it is,should be written,So am I ,I think that of those who stay together, half are hanging on because of children, money, or fear of loneliness. Some are truly and consistently happy, out of a fortunate combination of circumstance, rather than any particular brand of love or tactic. Most of the remaining marriages, I think, are not about happiness or unhappiness, but accommodation and negotiation. And I say that as half of a married couple in which both of us have probably made one another both happy and unhappy, probably in roughly equal measure. We are very different people, but then all people are very different people.

My Husband and I both have a very strong sense of individuality, and I like that, but it means we have our fair share of fireworks. Anyone who does not have a lot of disagreements in a marriage is probably repressing a lot of stuff, which is liable to explode sooner or later.

To me, there are three keys to marriage-

The first is communication, good communication requires practice, goodwill, determination and a considerable amount of inborn talent.

The second is respect, which in many ways is more important than love. Love comes and goes, but respect endures, and provides the space for love to flow, which is bound to come in all long marriages sooner or later.

The third is trust. And this is the hardest of all, because if you have ever been let down – and we all have – reconstructing the trust is difficult. This isn’t about infidelity, but many small matters – broken promises, bad intentions, frustrated hopes.

A marriage is a moving process, a living thing, and if it stops being fed with these existential nutrients, it will finally expire. Complacency and laziness is what kills marriage, far more than lack of love, and that is why it is often described as hard work. 

I am a daughter to my parents,I have been married for a year,me and my husband hold a trust of understanding each other no matter what. Careers and Goals are very important in life,Achievement in life stands at first place with all the love and care.He is not a money making machine nor I am baby producing machine,we look after the needs and priorities of each other and love life.Its not a Cage for me to live as they say marriage is,It a marriage where you get support and love to go further and achieve success.

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it be rather a moving sea between the shores of your souls.”

Life is too Short to Blame

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Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
Love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the ones who don’t.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy.
They just promised it would be worth it.

Many of you have,seen, or read this quote before. I believe it does a great job summing up what life should be about. Make your life be worth living for and live it to the fullest. Value the people in your life who matter, have influenced, and made you, you. Not everyone is granted a second chance at something. One thing is for certain that we don’t get a second chance at life. Be fortunate if you are presented a second chance with anything and don’t take it for granted. I know that I’ve taken many things for granted and I don’t like to admit it, but I also regret a few things in my life. Rather than sitting around and thinking about past decisions and how things turned out take a stand and make the change in your life that you want and deserve.

I love the last two lines, “Nobody said life would be easy…They just promised it would be worth it.” Hopefully my life will be meaningful, as well as yours. I know that life is priceless and for the most part I’ve enjoyed it. I just want to be free to do as I please and find the happiness that I’ve been seeking.

And I’ll leave you with one more thought. You can find unexpected beauty in the most simplest and inconsequential things. Something that is absolutely ordinary can be stunningly beautiful.

Social Media-Ruining your LIFE

Facebook,Instagram,Twitter and Whatever it s..

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These are most important things from the time you wake up and last go to bed.Really,is it so important?.Not only Teenagers the Child,Mother,Father,Grandfather,Uncle,Aunties like really,Everyone is in to it.It makes me feel sick,irritated ,yet a times even frustrated Because I will tell you why,This so called social is dragging you away from your life,the moments you spend are not really felt,the food is not properly eaten because of angles you take for a picture to post it,the place you see is missing its importance only because you are busy clicking selfie Like really? Is it so important to show it to the society,to your friends and so(Google has it all). Don’t you think its making you naked and not hiding anything,not even your personal Life.

The pressure you have in making a good status,a good comment,to please someone is making you invisible of the reality and these things doesn’t come naturally,you are constantly thinking about posting it and showing it,and then waiting to see how many of them liked it or commented,Is it so important, that others should like or comment on your personal life,It just reveals your deepest physic,lunatic vulnerability.

Stop posting,recording it all the time,Instead feel it,cherish it,its adds to your character,Feel the warmth of the nature,look into the child’s eyes which is just born,Appreciate the chef who has made such a delicious food,Know the history of a place,Admire the beauty of your surrounding and So.STOP BEING ADDICTED TO IT AND GET A LIFE BEYOND SOCIAL MEDIA.

Who am I ?

“An unquestioned mind leads the way to suffer”

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We need to ask questions to ourselves,in order to look beneath us,and to prevent us from feeling insignificant and worthless,Its very important to ask and reflect on the question WHO AM I? before anything else.Ask yourself-

  • Am I a loving person?
  • Am I respectful?
  • Am I compassionate?
  • Am I grateful?
  • Am I an honest person?
  • Am I generous and sharing?

After asking these questions,did your mind remind you of times that you were not that person? If yes then your mind is still in condition to experience,especially yourself,in a worst way possible.

If you truly think you are not that person,ask yourself.How can I be? and you will be flooded with ideas,further if you don’t want to be that person,then unfortunately that’s the reason you are unfulfilled in the first place,and never wanting to experience the true essence of life, and that’s very sad.So start from today to question yourself and get the answers in the best way possible and act on it.

THE CHALLENGE ISN’T KNOWING WHO WE ARE AS A PERSON,BUT ITS HAVING THE COURAGE TO ACT ON IT.

Love and Relationships

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A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself,to laugh with me but never at me,cry with me but not because of me ,to love life,to love himself,to be loved.Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.

Relationships are very important in our day to day life,I always wonder how 20,25,50 years of marriage sustain how did they get such a perfect or loving partner that made them hold on to each other,its just like a ship it all depends on how its sailing, rocky,smoothly or docked.

A partners role is very important to help other person with their aspirations and add as much value as they possibly can do their life.A healthy relationship is evident because they both seem to bring the best of each other and shine brightly .A life partner is not about battling each other,but overcoming life’s challenges together.

some points to create a fulfilling relationships

  • Control your own emotions,not your Partner’s.Because When you attempt to control someone’s life,it only reflects the lack of control you have over your own.
  • Set a vision together,If you don’t have something to look forward to,you will burn out.If the things we value most aren’t aligned with our partner,how can we ever expect our relationship to be successful?
  • Create a strategy plan that you both work through to get those desired vision’s and outcomes.Go away with your partner or take up activities that are new to both of you.Do stuff that is fun and makes you feel Great.

THERE IS NO GREATER RELATIONSHIP THAN BETWEEN THOSE WHO ARE SELF AWARE.

THE BEGINNING

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After so many years,I finally began to live.I discovered that I was actually slowly dying before.Most people believe that they are getting closer to death by physically growing.They fear the number of of their years as they start to increase.They think that every year passed is another step to leaving this earth,and they get depressed.But why would you don’t even make the most of it when you are alive? When you are self aware of your actions,it is complete opposite.You acknowledge that every year that passes is another year you have learnt how to live!

We surround ourselves with stress,worry,selfishness,sadness,hate and every other feeling that kills us.Not just physically,but mentally financially,and spiritually.It takes every part of our life,directly or indirectly and affects most. Don’t just live because you were born,embrace that you were actually born to live.Just because you are alive it doesn’t mean you are living.This is why it seems so many only begin to live when they finally stare death in face.

HAPPINESS

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If an Arab in desert were suddenly to discover spring in his tent and so would always be able to have water in abundance,how fortunate he would consider himself,So when a man,who physical being  is always turned towards the outside,thinking that his happiness lies outside him,finally turns inward and discovers that source is within.

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